So to answer your question, Maddy: no I didn’t get the job.
I found out this afternoon. Although everyone thought I had an impressive resume and a great personality, I didn’t have enough experience compared to the other two candidates. This is apparently the new story of my life: I keep getting turned down for jobs because I don’t have any experience. WHERE/HOW IN THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF I CAN’T GET A JOB? I am getting so sick of hearing that and how I’m going to go so far when I can’t get a job. I don’t even know what position I would be in if I didn’t have the resume and experience I currently have since that’s not enough either. I’m already being selective in where and to what I apply to because I want to enjoy what I do, but I’m getting sick of having my soul crushed repeatedly by this that it’s probably not worth increasing my number of applications anyway. Besides, at this point I don’t know if its better or worse coming so close to being employed rather than just not hearing anything at all.
All I want to do is work. I miss waking up in the morning and having something I had to go to and do. I miss having a sense of accomplishment, like I actually did something that day. I feel like my life is on hold because all I want to do is work and start. My internship is fine and I enjoy it and all, but I don’t like and am not all that interested in national politics. And with Alexi winning the nomination (I promise I’ll write about this soon), all is going to happen is that a ton more interns are going to come in (the day after he won the nomination there were already 20 applications) and it’s going to get really competitive as they begin to get ready to hire staffers in preparation for the general election. Why deal with national politics and all of its infighting and smears when you can work in international politics and just assassinate and covertly plan coup d’états?
Anyway, I just have to keep thinking that I’ll get something because people keep telling me that I’ll get something. I’m just not looking forward to this upcoming class to graduate and enter the workforce as well for the added competition.
(And to add insult to injury, I had to spend some time with my mom so I also ended up feeling fat, ugly and like I'm crazy and can't take care of myself and paranoid that others around me also think I'm fat, ugly and that there's something wrong with me because I can't take care of myself. Sigh. She certainly knows how to kick me when I'm down - repeatedly and viciously).
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2 comments:
Unless you've gained 200 lbs and had some sort of horrible face disfiguring accident that you've yet to tell me about, you certainly are not fat and ugly. I miss you! Do you have like even a mindless job (aka service industry)? Earning any money always makes one feel happy. Plus I found the best way to get a job, is to already have one (so annoying)! Good luck!!
Shannon,
I just read your blog for the first time on my son's recommendation. He is like you, a graduate and has been an unpaid intern but still got no proper job. He is in Kenya at present leading a gap year team on a water project. He gets paid a small amount. I would think that voluntary work like that might help you. It looks good on your CV and it goes towards the experience that employers want.
Best wishes,
Marcus
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